My Online Diary... 
good day eh 
Blog hoping and came across yours. Its ok to add more. Sometimes if you feel like you want to write more the same day as well... Do it! it helps to talk. Nice site blog hopping here and got ur link from being one of the featured journals. Hope you are having a good week 
the lot of us don't know where we're going in this life; which is what makes it exciting. take care! have a good weekend! 
I was wrong!
not sure about how I feel...I haven't post an entry for a very long time simply because I don't have time to do so and when I have the time I am not in the mood.
I just thought it would be relevant to write about the most important experience in my entire life...a week after I am still recovering from it.
What I am posting here is the review I wrote a couple of days after the whole experience...some feelings have changed, some haven't...
It was a bittersweet experience because half of my dream didnt come true... I think I am feeling so down because I've built so many expectations of how it would be when it happened...I am not disappointed neither at Darren or anyone else...I am just disappointed at the way things happened for me.
This was an unforgetable experience...it changed me in some ways. I never thought I could go all by myself to the UK and be able to do everything I did absolutely on my own. It was scary but during the whole time I didnt think about it, simply because it was something I had dreamed for so long. And...do you want to know the truth?? I would do everything all over again even knowing that my dream wouldn't come true in its entirity.
I still have mixed feelings about this experience and it will take some time to heal...
DARK LIGHT TOUR REVIEW
19th November 2004 – Nottingham
For the first time in my entire life I got on a plane to the UK to see Mr. Darren Hayes perform live. And I could never have imagined what I was about to experience.
He was late for the sound check, which made the expectations go even higher.
And then we finally start to hear some noises coming from the room where he was performing. I was shaking and couldn’t believe I was about the see Darren Hayes for the first time ever in my life.
I have been a fan for 7 or 8 years and never got the chance to see him. So, during all these years I kept wondering how it would be when it happened. I could not keep control of the beating of heart that was going so fast.
My friend grabbed my hand, we looked each other in the eyes and followed everyone that was going to the sound check. We entered the room, took our seats (that were at the back far away from the stage) and I immediately spotted Robert on stage. I could not believe it was him!! He looked so cool and relaxed. Could not take my eyes away from him…
Suddenly my friend told me to look carefully to the right corner of the stage… and there was Darren. He was wearing a hat that would cover his face with its shadow. He looked as relaxed as Robert. He came on stage and pretended not to us there. The sound check started. It lasted for a very short time. Only ten minutes probably. After he sang Insatiable, Santa Monica and Strange Relationship he looked at the sound guy that was just a couple of rows in front of us and said something like “Oh!! You are there!!” just like if he hadn’t seen us already. Everyone laughed. Darren also asked us if we would be back there later on that night for the show and obviously everyone said yes and cheered. Then he said waving at us from stage “See ya then Kiddies… and big people! And I’ll promise I’ll dress up!” We laughed again and left the room with a smile on our faces.
If the sound check had caused such and effect on me I wondered how I would feel when the show actually started.
After the sound check there a couple more hours to until the show would start. Although it was supposed to start at 7pm it had been delayed and would now start at 8pm.
We waited and waited and everyone was so anxious.
Sometime before 8pm they let us in to take our seats.
The opening act was a band called Honey Moon, which performed for about half an hour. I have to be honest and say that I couldn’t really pay attention to what they were singing because the only thing I could think was about Darren coming on stage. I couldn’t wait any longer.
After the guests performance Darren’s Crew came on stage to get everything ready for his show. That was when I spotted Troy making sure that there were enough water bottles on stage.
Suddenly, the big moment had come. The lights started to go down low and I Robert walked on stage. I couldn’t help it but to scream his name out loud. He looked at the crowd with that smile and did the “peace” sign with his hand while he turned all the screens (that were a part of the scenery) on. Then, he sat behind his keyboard and at the same minute Darren came on stage and the first notes from Void started to play.
Everyone screamed and I could not believe he was in front of me singing. The show had begun.
Sadly, I cannot remember the order of the songs… I was such in a state of excitement!! I can remember that the first song of the night was Void and it was beautiful. I can also remember I went crazy when heard the first notes of Strange Relationship. And hearing Darkness live made my heart freeze. The high point of the show (for me personally) was when Darren sang To The Moon & Back. This was the song that made me fall in love with Darren’s voice the first time I heard it about 8 years ago. So, it will always have a very special meaning to me.
Darren called someone to be on stage with him during that song. When he started to look for someone, everyone that was around me started to shout for him to pick me, and waving the Portuguese flag in the air. I wasn’t the one that he picked but I’ll be forever grateful to everyone who was there with me making me feel so special.
Actually, I am not sure if I would be able to go on stage with him… I am a very shy person and I would probably make a fool of myself with Darren standing by my side.
During the show I felt so many different things… I cried…I laughed…I danced…I felt emotional again…and it’s been four days since that night and I still feel emotionally drained.
I kept praying for the moment that he had to leave the stage would never happen and the magic would last forever… but it didn’t.
When Darren said goodbye I felt so sad…so fragile and emotional. I didn’t want him to leave.
In seconds we saw him disappearing from stage. And I felt a void.
I will never be able to thank Darren Hayes enough for being just…Darren Hayes!! For being the wonderful person he is and for letting us into his heart. This show was a journey through his feelings…through my feelings.
I’ll never forget his smile that night.
As the entire world knows I have been a fan of Leonie for such a long time but have never had the chance of meeting her in person.
So, I thought this would be my chance…but unfortunately it wasn’t. I soon found out she wasn’t going to be at the one show I was going to…and it was such a disappointment. I am obviously not disappointed with her or with anyone else. I respect her and love her too much to feel disappointed.
I guess it just wasn’t meant to be…
I want to take this chance and thank Leonie for being such an inspiration to me. During all this time she helped me more than she will ever imagine.
I hope I can have the chance of saying this to her some day face to face.
Apart from being at the show I am so thankful for having the chance of meeting so many wonderful people I had spoken to online. It was something new for me to meet up with so many Darren Hayes fans. I had never had the chance of doing that before.
Thank you so much for making me feel so special that night. It was very hard for me to say goodbye.
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